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Is it gauche to suggest that you'll "save a pretty JCPenney" in this Black Friday sale? Only you can decide, after you check out this offer and more in our roundup of the five best deals we found over the last 24 hours.

JCPenney Black Friday Sale
Store: JCPenney
Discount: Up to 75% off
Shipping: Pickup, or free shipping w/ $75

Let's say you buy the advertised Iconic Handheld Percussion Muscle Massager for $29.99. You are massaging your muscles, giving them some much-needed therapy after a hard day's muscling. And yet, in a Hedbergian belt/belt loops twist, it is your muscles that allow you to grip and manipulate said massager, so who, in this scenario, is the real hero? The answer is, of course, JCPenney, for selling you that massager at 69% off its recommended retail price. But in another sense, perhaps Black Friday sales make heroes of us all. Batman probably punched a goon to bits to get a cheap bath towel at some point.

Click here to see more Black Friday deals.

Board Games at Amazon
Store: Amazon
Price: From $12
Shipping: Free shipping w/ Prime

The good: any one of these board games would make for a fine stocking stuffer a month and a day from now. Who wouldn't want to spend Christmas morning depositing crystals on the communal facet board? If the joy of the holiday season comes from who you share it with, then these games are surefire ways to make a gift reflect that.

The bad: the marketing for Million Dollar Script described its central conceit thusly: "Through marketing research, the studio has identified a specific hero/villain combination it is set on making its next movie about. Beyond that, the big wigs are not taking any chances: the story structure will be a tried-and-true archetype. It's the same one followed by modern classics like Star Wars, The Lion King, Titanic, and about every other blockbuster over the last 40 years." Even in board game form, Hollywood cannot escape its unceasing creative death spiral.

Click here to see more card & board game deals.

Threadless Black Friday Sale
Store: Threadless
Price: $10 T-Shirts
Shipping: $5.99 s&h, or free shipping w/ $99

While I can't guarantee that these T-shirts are actually threadless (in fact, I'm willing to bet a significant sum that they're the exact opposite), I can guarantee that they cost less. Than they otherwise would. Functioning as a kind of "Tinder Bio You Can Wear", graphic T-shirts are great because they compress your personality into a single aspect you want to project to the world. "Hey everyone, I like clever little cartoons of Robert Smith because I'm sensitive, but also quirky. I am Jess from New Girl. Which is a tragedy, because I actually see myself as Nick from New Girl." All that from just a $10 T-shirt!

Click here to see more T-shirt deals.

Staples Black Friday Laptop Deals
Store: Staples
Discount: Up to 48% off
Shipping: Free shipping

Laptops have come a long way in a reasonably short time. I remember seeing the laptop my dad brought home from his office some time in the late 90s – it was as chunky as the kind of KitKat bar they'd create for an episode of Man vs Food, and to my pre-teen mind, didn't seem to actually do anything. Here we are, only a quick few decades later, and suddenly laptops do everything. We've even shrunk them down further into tablet- and phone-sized gimmicks, but that was a mistake: that the laptops still maintain an inherent awkwardness, all 16" of corners and HDMI ports, means that while we can take them anywhere, it's generally unpleasant to do so very often. And so these discounted machines from the likes of Asus, HP, and Lenovo will serve you when you need them, rather than the sad current situation of the smartphone tail wagging the human race dog. That was a terrible sentence, and shall never be repeated.

Click here to see more laptop deals.

Fancy Up That Yard at Woot
Store: Woot! An Amazon Company
Discount: Up to 41% off
Shipping: Free shipping w/ Prime
Expiration: December 15

While we might question the pushy tone Woot! (an Amazon company, lest we forget) gives off in this sale's title (I for one read it in Principal Skinner's voice, possibly adding a "Simpson" after "Yard"), it's hard to have any objections to the Flying Pig Pure Copper Weathervane ("it's just a little metal-worked, it's still good, it's still good"), the 9-Cup Pure Copper Owl 8.5-ft. Rain Chain, or a giant inflatable Snoopy. Although, is a giant inflatable Snoopy really what you'd call "fancy"? Perhaps "fancy" as in whimsical, rather than ooh-la-la "fancy". Am I overthinking the enormous dog balloon? Certainly. It's what they pay me for. I think.

Click here to see more decor deals.

DealNews may be compensated by companies mentioned in this article. Please note that, although prices sometimes fluctuate or expire unexpectedly, all products and deals mentioned in this feature were available at the lowest total price we could find at the time of publication (unless otherwise specified).